The Teabagger Socialist-Free Purity Pledge

I, ________________________________, do solemnly swear to uphold the... See More
principles of a socialism-free society and heretofore pledge my word that I
shall strictly adhere to the following:

I will complain about the destruction of 1st Amendment Rights in this
country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 1st Amendment Rights.

I will complain about the destruction of my 2nd Amendment Rights in this
country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 2nd Amendment rights
by legally but brazenly brandishing unconcealed firearms in public.

I will forswear the time-honored principles of fairness, decency, and
respect by screaming unintelligible platitudes regarding tyranny, Nazi-ism,
and socialism at public town halls.

Also:

I pledge to eliminate all government intervention in my life. I will abstain
from the use of and participation in any socialist goods and services
including but not limited to the following:

. Social Security
. Medicare/Medicaid
. State Children’s Health Insurance Programs (SCHIP)
. Police, Fire, and Emergency Services
. US Postal Service
. Roads and Highways
. Air Travel (regulated by the socialist FAA)
. The US Railway System
. Public Subways and Metro Systems
. Public Bus and Lightrail Systems
. Rest Areas on Highways
. Sidewalks
. All Government-Funded Local/State Projects (e.g., see Iowa 2009 federal
senate
appropriations--http://grassley.senate.gov/issues/upload/Master-Approps-73109.pdf)

. Public Water and Sewer Services (goodbye socialist toilet, shower,
dishwasher, kitchen sink,
outdoor hose!)
. Public and State Universities and Colleges
. Public Primary and Secondary Schools
. Sesame Street
. Publicly Funded Anti-Drug Use Education for Children
. Public Museums
. Libraries
. Public Parks and Beaches
. State and National Parks
. Public Zoos
. Unemployment Insurance
. Municipal Garbage and Recycling Services
. Treatment at Any Hospital or Clinic That Ever Received Funding From Local,
State or Federal Government (pretty much all of them)
. Medical Services and Medications That Were Created or Derived From Any
Government Grant or Research Funding (again, pretty much all of them)
.Socialist Byproducts of Government Investment Such as Duct Tape and Velcro
(Nazi-NASA Inventions)
.Use of the Internets, email, and networked computers, as the DoD's ARPANET
was the basis for subsequent computer networking
. Foodstuffs, Meats, Produce and Crops That Were Grown With, Fed With,
Raised With or That Contain Inputs From Crops Grown With Government
Subsidies
. Clothing Made from Crops (e.g. cotton) That Were Grown With or That
Contain Inputs From Government Subsidies
. If a veteran of the government-run socialist US military, I will forego my
VA benefits and insist on paying for my own medical care
.I will not tour socialist government buildings like the Capitol in
Washington, D.C.

I pledge to never take myself, my family, or my children on a tour of the
following types of socialist locations, including but not limited to:

. Smithsonian Museums such as the Air and Space Museum or Museum of American
History
. The socialist Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson Monuments
. The government-operated Statue of Liberty
. The Grand Canyon
. The socialist World War II and Vietnam Veterans Memorials
. The government-run socialist-propaganda location known as Arlington
National Cemetery
. All other public-funded socialist sites, whether it be in my state or in
Washington, DC
I will urge my Member of Congress and Senators to forgo their government
salary and government-provided healthcare.

I will oppose and condemn the government-funded and therefore socialist
military of the United States of America.

I will boycott the products of socialist defense contractors such as GE,
Lockheed-Martin, Boeing, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics, Raytheon,
Humana, FedEx, General Motors, Honeywell, and hundreds of others that are
paid by our socialist government to produce goods for our socialist army.

I will protest socialist security departments such as the Pentagon, FBI,
CIA, Department of Homeland Security, TSA, Department of Justice and their
socialist employees.

Upon reaching eligible retirement age, I will tear up my socialist Social
Security checks.

Upon reaching age 65, I will forgo Medicare and pay for my own private
health insurance until I die.

SWORN ON A BIBLE AND SIGNED THIS DAY OF ____________ IN THE YEAR
______________.

Signed
Printed Name/Town and State